I feel locked in a dark room. Where there are no mirrors, because of self hate.
No doors, I feel like I have been held captive forever.
There is no light shining through the walls. Though I would love to see all that is there beyond this darkness.
Maybe I have lost hope for any show of sparks to fly through my way. Maybe I have lost myself to this dark presence that surrounds me. Maybe, evil has drank my blood of revival and the bones of survival it has broken within me.
Though sometimes I give light a chance to show me the beauty that is within me. I give it another opportunity to bestow a smile on my face. To make me feel alive again. The death that has taken over, plucks out the hair of strength that I have within me. I cry out loud. But no one hears me on the other side.
I am too strong to take my life. I am too weak to survive. I shout for help, but no one seems to hear me calling. I open my mouth but my voice seems to be falling.
Will I fall and let this consume me? Will I give up and let it laugh at me.
In this darkness, I have learnt to be pure. To not seek to be loved by others but to love from within me. To dig up light in the darkness that I reside with. To find life at the end of the tunnel. To seek to be revived because I remember that once upon a time I lived. There was light in my room. There were windows that I saw through. People heard and loved. For I don’t want this to be the end of me.
Written by Grace balogun