In her own head.

She locked herself in her head. Thinking no one cared. 

She became quiet. She was tired. Tired of what she was going through. 

If only someone could see the darkness that had consumed her life.

She no longer felt happy. 

She had pushed everyone away. Her world had become lonely. 

She feared that she had lost her friends forever. She would never get her friends back. For the love they gave her, she now saw lack.

If only she could run away from her pain. She wanted to live again. 

She knew he was the reason why she had lost it all. Though, his love was what she wanted but why does she still feel empty. 

His demands have dried her up. But yet she still searches within for something within her to give.

She wonders if he loves her. If he cared the way she did. If he would leave everything for her. And only her. 

She is too scared to ask him. To ask anything of him. For he is the only one left in her life. Everyone has left her behind. 

She craves for her life to go back to the way it was. Where she had her smile. She had her friends. She was happy. 

But, she isn’t strong enough to walk away from him. Though he suffocates her.

She feels stuck between him and herself.

Written by Grace balogun


16 thoughts on “In her own head.

  1. This is very moving. It reminds me of the rebound after my divorce. I thank God for the strength to finally walk away. A month later, it was like waking up from a bad dream. I pray she will find that strength, too, and that she stays safe.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Wow. I’m sorry to hear about that. But I believe that you have to make decisions that lead you to a happy life. It isn’t easy. It is very hard. You need the strength of God. I’m glad he helped you through such a difficult situation. The main obstacle is to get yourself out of the dark place that you reside. That one decision to leave. It’s not something that everyone have the strength to do. Like you said God helps see you through it. I pray that for his blessings on your life. To continue to give you strength. Thanks for sharing your story. I pray to that he gives my friend the strength too. Takecare. God bless. :* :* πŸ™‚ ❀

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you for your support and prayers, Grace. My rebound happened over 15 years ago, and it still bothers me sometimes. I need to continually work on accepting God’s love and grace with that. But the good news is that life is so much better now, because God’s plan unfolded perfectly!

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I felt your pain & anguish right along with you. I’m a victim of domestic abuse and though we know the damage that’s been done we still find it nearly impossible to leave. My family left me along the process of getting out of a toxic relationship. These things happen to woman everyday. Thank you for your beautiful words❀️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Wow. I’m so sorry you had to go through that. It’s never easy. It’s very hard but once you leave you become stronger. It’s better to leave n be safe. I hope you doing well and better. Takecare of yourself. God bless. And thanks. Much love. ❀ ❀ ❀

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I could so easily relate to that too. After getting brave enough to leave, I soon was running down the beach, flapping my arms, saying, “I’m free!” What a great feeling after years of abuse.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I can imagine the dance of joy at the beach and your scream of joy. It’s an amazing feeling. To be able to set yourself free from such a toxic relationship. I’m so happy you are in a better place. 😍😍😍😍😍


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