Life has always been something that was drawn in a specific way on a piece of paper. Each line were there for a purpose. Each path were taken learning from the rules of the books. The rules were stagnant. The rules were all that was to be true. To be considered important. Nothing else mattered. It proved what was right or wrong. What behaviour that was to be encouraged. What was to be purnished. It wouldn’t dare spilling out of the ordinary. Just being a piece of the puzzle that was supposed to fit perfectly to complete the phase of the game. If it were to not fit was to cause chaos. Break the particular system that was built to control outcomes and perfections.
There was a pattern. A dramatic black and white shades of life. Nothing was ever in between. Music had a specific tune. It didn’t make you laugh. It didn’t make you cry. It was just tunes that had no purpose. It was just rhythms that float in the air. It had its identity but that’s all it had. These music was her identity. No one heard the tunes. People couldn’t relate to what she heard. It’s heart they never saw. It’s love they didn’t want.
The music was transparent. See through but so distant. This music made her. The lines built her soul. The lines didn’t deviate from the plan. They stood and walked. Obeyed all commands. If at all she wanted them to dance she could let them dance. She could turn them to flowers. She could make them stones. Which gave them flexibility. They deserved freedom. They deserved hapiness. So did she. She was tied to their soul and they were tied to hers. She would let them go. Let herself go. Allow them heal her. Allow them be her light through the darkeness.
She could be herself again by losing herself.
It wasn’t easy. Losing all that she knew. All that were her. Most of the lines that built her bones. Those lines she had to bend. She had to let loose. Untie the rope. Choose a doffered side that was still her. Unwrap the gift she once never wanted. But that is her only hope. Her only chance to redemption. She trusts. She takes the leap of faith. She strives. Swims because she knows she won’t drown no more. She believes in her strength. She caters to her mind. She is strong.
To no more of the lines. She finally will see the other side. Unravel this journey and disappear in thin air. To be no more. But, still found within. To lose herself but not completely.
She finds herself in the loss of her whole being.
Written by Grace balogun.